


Stargazing (Peter's point of view)

by sunshinedesires



Series: Spider-Man: Homecoming [2]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), peter parker - Fandom, tom holland - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Marvel Universe, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Puppy Love, Spider-Man: Homecoming - Freeform, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 08:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12453972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinedesires/pseuds/sunshinedesires
Summary: Tony Starks daughter, Carmen Stark, and Peter Parker are best friends. There's nothing they won't do together and there's not a doubt they always have fun together. It's been a few months since Spider-man first joined the crew, and what people don't know - not even the two of them - is how completely smitten they are with each other. But, that's not something a starry sky and a windy rooftop can't fix...





	Stargazing (Peter's point of view)

**Author's Note:**

> You can read this either as a part 2 or a stand-alone, too. It's all the same as the first "Stargazing" I posted in this series, but just a different version where you get to see it from Peter's point of view instead :)

I let the joyful sounds of everybody around me drown me out, in a way. Tony Stark is standing with Pepper by the bar he so gracefully has in his giant living room, and the rest of The Avengers team is scattered all throughout the room talking to people. And the majority of the people in here are people whose names I’v never even heard. But, parties are supposed to be fun, especially when your own superhero-team has successfully defeated another villain with visions of world dominance, right? 

Sure, the first hour or so was fun. It’s nice to come here after a long, boring day at school and hang out with some other kinds of people. But every party or every get-together somehow manages to feel the same nowadays. Not to sound ungrateful or spoiled in any way, but it’s all really just another Stark-party lately. Loud music, a lot of people that I haven’t even heard of and just a lot of really drawn out conversations between one really rich person and another really rich person. It’s fun to a certain extent, but it’s also really shallow to me.

And if I’m being completely honest with myself, a lot of times I only come here so I get a chance to hang out with Carmen. A lot of, if not all, things about being Spider-man is awesome. But whenever I’m around her I’m constantly reminded about how lucky I am to have met her. Because obviously, if I never would have been bitten by that spider and gotten these abilities, I would never have had the pleasure of getting in contact with Tony Stark and therefore his daughter Carmen.  
  
Or, as I like to call her, the most beautiful and smart girl I’ve ever met. Whenever I get to spend time in the Stark tower and she’s around, there’s not a chance I’d turn it down. School is the only place we really get to hang out and be ourselves, and school is also very boring lately. And it’s just recently that her father has allowed me to come on more serious missions. Otherwise I’m just that friendly neighborhood Spider-man that helps old ladies across the street and that stop petty thieves from stealing bikes. So, spending time with her really enlightens my days.

She’s smart and listening to her talk is never boring. It’s not so much that I don’t like spending time with the team, it’s just that I’d really rather spend time with her. And, of course by the measurements possible, alone. I have a feeling her father doesn’t like the two of us together, though, which isn’t exactly hard to tell since whenever I come over here just to hang out with her, we’re basically never allowed to be anywhere else but the living room or some of the labs. 

I also know that he’s looking out for his daughter, which is obviously only right. He’s protecting her at all costs seeing as being related to him can get pretty dangerous. But, I also have this feeling that he has this idea where we are going to fall in love with each other and in this story, I’m most likely the villain. Which, is stupid. First of all, she’d never feel that way for me and second, even if she did I’d never hurt her. Yes, I’m young and yes, I don’t have that much experience of love. But what I do know, is that I completely _adore_ her.

She makes me nervous and I’m the worst at hiding it, but she doesn’t care. Over these last months, we’ve gotten really close and I appreciate her friendship more than probably anything else. For as long as I can remember I’ve never met a person who manages to make me so nervous yet makes me feel so comfortable all at the same time. I just know that whenever I’m around her, I’m happy. And that is obviously no coincidence. 

We have so much fun together, and that must be what bothers her father so much. He’s old fashioned and I think this makes him worry that because I can make her laugh, she’s going to fall for me. I wouldn’t mind, of course, because as cheesy as it sounds I’d gladly catch her. But there’s so much more to it than just being able to make each other laugh. Her dad just sees a boy and a girl in the same age and fears the worst. He kind of has to, being the parent and all, but still. _He_ makes me even more nervous when I’m around her. 

But, thinking about her like this makes me frustrated. I adore her more than anything else in the entire world yet I still don’t know how to tell her. I can’t just casually say that I think she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. And thinking about all of this is practically impossible when you’re surrounded by way too many people, so I decide that it’s probably better I go be frustrated at home. 

I stand up from the couch and head towards the hallway. A part of me wants to sneak up the stairs and knock at her door, to see what she’s up to and if she would want to hang out. But her dad told me she has friends over, and although I’m not sure he was lying so I wouldn’t spend time with her, I don’t want to disrespect him. Or her, if that really is the case.

”Mr. Stark, I think I’m going to head home, Aunt May’s probably waiting,” I call out, unsure if he will even hear me.

”Didn't she say midnight? That's not until another two hours!” Steve shouts back.

”Yeah, I know, but I need to get some homework done, too,” I reply, which is totally a lie of course. At this point, there’s not really a course at school I feel I actually have to study for.

I put my jacket on and sling my backpack on to my shoulders too, and head to press the elevator button. But, just as I’m about to press it I hear someone coming down the stairs behind me and then her voice.  
  
”Peter?” she asks, sweetly.

I instantly whip around to face her and literally have to grab tighter on to the straps of my backpack when I see her. There aren’t enough combinations of words to explain what happens inside my body when I see her. It’s like my nerves forget their functions, and the way my heart reacts to her makes the rest of my body react as if to choose between fight or flight. Everything inside of me just gets messed up, to the point where no cells or nerves or muscles know what’s going on. The wild flutters of my heart confuses my other organs, almost as if asking ”are we shutting down now?”.  
  
But, then, as I meet her warm, and eyes there’s a whole other storm set off inside me. One that cannot be explained by organs, or chemical reactions, or anything seemingly logical at all. Because of my powers and the way my senses have heightened, larger reactions than what’s usually normal for day-to-day things is something I’ve grown accustomed to. But…when I see her, _every_ single time I see her, there’s a new set of reactions inside of me that I’ve never felt before.

”Oh, Carmen, hey,” I say and I feel entirely breathless.

”Are you leaving?” she asks, and her voice nearly makes my knees tremble.

”Uh, yeah- Well, I was-” I begin, completely thrown back by her appearing out of nowhere like this.

”Can’t you stay for a little while and hang out?” Carmen interrupts my fumbling for words with a small smile, growing a tiny bit by every second.

”Yeah!” I exclaim, realizing I may sound creepily over-excited. ”I mean, if you want to hang out I’m still free.” 

Her warm eyes soothe me, but I still feel stupid for visibly getting so nervous around her. Me overreacting to everything she does isn’t exactly new, so I feel like I should definitely have learned how to deal with it properly by now. But still, as she catches me by surprise like this, it’s like the first time I met her all over again. It’s just… She’s so beautiful. Like, _so_ beautiful. And her entire aura just radiates confidence and intellect and amazingness. It’s hard not to be nervous around her.

”I thought you had homework to do?” Her dad calls out and joins the two of us in the hallway. As usually when we’re together, his eyebrows are raised suspiciously as he flickers his eyes between us. ”Don't be so down, Carmen, the boy has to do his homework. It’s not his fault he wasn’t born with the intellect of a Stark.”

I know he’s joking, and normally I would have laughed, but right now I’m too nervous. Not only does Carmen make me want to melt through the ground, her dad also manages to make me want to do a backflip out the window or something to avoid his intense presence. When I think about it, it’s actually quite amazing how _both_ a parent and their child can make me, one single person, so freaking nervous.

And though I understand his protectiveness, I also wish he would just trust me more. It’s kind of like how he has behaved with me about the missions and the level of responsibility I have in the team. In my eyes it took him way too long to give me even a tiny bit of responsibility, and it bothers me. I might be young but I know what I’m doing.  
  
Obviously the situation between me and Carmen is way different, but there are still similarities. At this point we’re just friends and I highly doubt there’s even a single part of her that feels for me what I feel for her. And it doesn’t even matter what she feels for me or what she doesn’t - I’ll always respect what she wants and what she doesn’t. I care incredibly for her and it doesn’t matter if she would be interested in me in that way or if she wants us to just be friends, I’m never going to hurt her. 

I’ve never explicitly told her all of these things, but I hope she somehow knows anyway. And that’s what I want her father to understand. He could let me show my reliability by not being so stern in always keeping an eye on us. I’d never do anything she doesn’t want, and if she would tell me she never wants to see me again, that’s what I’d do. I feel like Mr. Stark only looks at me as some douchebag teenage boy without regards for her feelings.

Which is of course quite funny, seeing as her feelings are basically the focal point for everything I do when I’m around her. But, oh well. 

”Uh, homework can always wait until tomorrow,” I somehow manage to stutter out. 

Her dad flickers his eyes between me and her for what somehow feels like an eternity, before letting out a harsh sigh. ”Fine. But that door _will_ stay open and I will make sure a car is waiting to take you home shortly before midnight. Is that clear, Parker?”

”Yes, sir,” I nod, getting even more nervous as he calls me by my last name. I feel he knows I get nervous by that, which is why he uses it.

But before I have the chance to think any more about it, Carmen’s hand encompasses mine as she starts walking us both towards the stairs. As I spin around from facing her dad to placing my eyes on to our connected hands, it feels as if everything goes by in slow motion. Though it’s literally physically impossible, it feels like sparks could literally ignite from her skin touching mine, that’s what I imagine will happen in the next few seconds.

And as we head up towards her room, I wonder if she feels it too. If she can tell how my heart rate increases around her and how I struggle to find the words when looking directly into her eyes. If she knows I’d put everything at risk if she needed me. Because I honestly would. If there ever occurs a situation in which there’s a risk of me exposing my identity or even losing the abilities that make me Spider-man, and doing either of those things meant making her happy or perhaps saving her life, I wouldn’t even need to think. In a heartbeat I’ll choose her.

She opens the door and unfortunately lets go of my hand as she waits for me to enter her room. Surprisingly, this is the first time I get to see her room and if I’m being completely frank, I have no idea what to expect. I’ve grown accustomed to hanging out in her living room or in her dad’s labs, and besides just being with her is amazing. And I realize that I think like this about her most of the time whenever she crosses my mind, and my mouth goes dry.

I try to think of something else as I step into her room. The giant windows to my right catches my eyes at first, and I instantly walk over to them. The view over this lively city is incredible and it wouldn’t entirely suck having it from ones bedroom. I drop my backpack to the floor and slowly turn around to take everything in. And not to be even more lame, but her standing right by her bed is the only thing worth paying attention to.

”I bet this is nothing compared to the sights you get to see on a daily basis,” she smirks and nods towards the windows behind me.

I laugh but can barely hold her eyes as I reply. ”No, actually this is way better.” 

”Liar. How so?” she says and the little chuckle she lets out rings softly in my ears.

”This is more still,” I reply. And then I can’t help but smile to myself as I continue,  ”This is less hectic than when you’re rushing past everything to save the day.”  
  
”Oh,” she laughs and plumps down into her bed behind her. ”I can’t exactly relate but I’m sure that’s true.”  
  
I laugh, too, but for some reason I can’t shake this nervous off me. The way she’s smiling at me tonight, the way she looks at me and just being in her room with her alone, it’s making me crazy nervous. I start walking around her room to not make it so obvious, and feel her eyes practically burning holes in my back as I admire everything.

”I thought your dad said you have friends over?” I ask, suddenly remembering this small detail and honestly being confused about it. I also take this opportunity to carefully sit down next to her on her bed.

” _Ah_ ,” she chuckles as she rolls her eyes. ”The lie my dad always believes. I almost never have friends over, the reality is that I do homework or read books.”

”Wait…so you’ve been alone all night?” I furrow my eyebrows together.

”Yeah,” she shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

And it probably isn’t. But, it frustrates me that she’s practically been locked away up her while her dad and his posse, including me I guess, has been downstairs partying. I would much rather have spent all this time with her.

”You should’ve told me! We could have gotten out of here to do something else,” I exclaim.

She laughs and then she goes and smiles that sweetly at me, again. ”It’s okay, you’re here now, right?”  
  
”Yeah, so what do you want to do?” I ask and can’t help but smile right back at her.

The way she focuses on my eyes is enough to make me weak in the knees, and then she flutters her eyelids and turns away with a small laughter. She shrugs her shoulders and tells me it’s up to me, yet she still suggests going to the roof. And I know from before that she absolutely loves heights along with a good view, so it’s not exactly hard for me to choose what to do.

For me, it wouldn’t matter. We could sit here like this all night, too, and I’d still be as happy. But if she wants to go to the roof then we’ll go to the roof. 

”Well, if it’s really put o me, let’s go to the roof then,” I smile and stand to my feet.  
  
”Sure!”, she chirps happily and starts heading towards the door.

But as she’s close to reaching the door, I get a crazy idea. ”Wait, you don’t think we’re taking the elevator do you?” 

She instantly stops in her tracks and turns around to look at me with her eyebrows furrowed suspiciously. I just smile to myself and walk over to her windows, studying them to find where the locks might be. Eventually I find them both in the top corners and the bottom corners too. I reach up to unlock them, as well as the bottom ones, before looking at her over my shoulder.

”Well? Hop on!” I laugh.

Carmen laughs, too, and even though she thinks I don’t see, she slightly rolls her eyes before she starts walking over to me. She effortlessly as if this is completely normal, jumps onto my back and wraps her legs around my waist. In a way, this is completely normal. Our friendship is so close that we have no problem being physically close as well.

I guess, it’s only recently I’ve actually reflected upon it. Her cheek grazes against mine and my heart instantly starts beating louder. I take a deep breath before I lean out to place my right hand on the window to my left, and soon enough we’re completely outside of her room. Her arms around my neck tightens and I can feel her legs doing so as well. 

”If I fall, you’re a dead man,” she chuckles nervously. 

”If you fall - and that’s a very unreasonable if - I’ll catch you,” I assure her, because there’s not a chance on this earth I’d let her fall. 

”You better,” she says and I can almost feel her smile, as her cheek is almost completely resting against mine.

”Well, I don't know if you know or if you’ve heard, but I have pretty decent reflexes,” I joke and start climbing towards the roof. 

Usually when I do something like this, if someone’s fallen off a cliff or something and I’m rescuing them, I feel pretty nervous. There’s obviously a lot of pressure not to fail, so I always have to focus really hard and drown everything else out to feel like I can make it. I mean, it’s not everyday I have the weight of another person on top of mine as I’m climbing up something steep. 

But, with Carmen, I don’t feel this at all. Her warm breath tickles my cheek and my neck, and the way she clings to me makes me feel calmer than usual. There’s something about her presence that makes me so nervous that it feels like my heart is about to beat out of my chest, yet I also feel so calm that climbing up the side of a building like this doesn’t feel straining at all. 

We shortly reach the top and I pull both us over the edge with surprising ease, and gently step down on to the ground. And for a short moment, she stays like that. Extremely close to my back, just breathing and not saying anything. It feels like a weird position to stay in but as soon as she takes a few steps away I want her to be close again. I watch her lean her elbows against the edge behind her as she meets my eyes.

My mind starts spinning and images of me kissing her appear. I think about kissing her a lot, but tonight is the first time where there’s even a tiny part of myself that feels like maybe I could actually do it. But, I’m honestly scared to. I know she enjoys my company as I do hers, but the question is if there’s even a slight chance she looks at me in the same way. Sometimes when I think about it, I like to ask myself why not? 

And then I always dwell in all the reasons why she would do the right thing and not choose me. It makes me happy that I can make her laugh and that she feels secure enough around me to talk about more serious things, like her mom for one. But, I still feel like I’m not good enough for her. I’m not sure if it’s self doubt or the way her dad doesn’t trust me, or if it’s a wild combination of both of these things, but I’m scared I’ll fail her in one way or another.

Maybe being as keen and ready as I am to do everything I possibly can to please her isn’t _just_ a good thing. I mean, it definitely makes me vulnerable. And maybe it’s an impossible task. Thinking about and considering everything too much might lead to me disappointing her anyway. Which is why I’m all the more nervous around her when she’s as kind to me as she is. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself by thinking she’ll expect certain things or behaviors from me.

”Hey, I’m sorry my dad is still such a jerk to you about our friendship,” she speaks up.

”What? No, no, it’s okay,” I assure her, but my mind is too preoccupied with everything about her that I can’t seem to meet her eyes.

”No, it’s not,” she smiles softly. ”I don’t even know why is to begin with. It’s kind of unfair.” 

”Well, in a way I guess I, uh, understand it actually,” I reply. ”You’re living a risky life just by being his daughter, so I mean I can see that he doesn't want anyone to endanger you even more.”

”And how many times have you seen me endanger my life since you joined us several months back?” she asks with both her eyebrows raised in question.

”Well, you have a point. But Mr Stark—” I start, but as she rolls her eyes at calling her dad that, I laugh before correcting myself. ” _Tony_ , is a very assertive man. He likes his own rules.”

Carmen laughs, too, but I take this opportunity to just turn around and lean my arms against the edge to look out over the city. All of the life down below us, with all the traffic and the hundreds if not thousands of people walking around, don’t seem to phase me. My mind is overflowing with how I’m supposed to say what I really want to say to Carmen right now. 

Do I just walk over to her and kiss her? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? Every ounce of respect she has for me would without doubt just go away. And obviously, that would be more than right. But there’s this part of me that clings on to the little sliver of hope that says that maybe, just maybe there is chance. Maybe there’s a chance for us in that way.

Then again, if I do try to explain to her what I feel for her and she doesn’t feel the same way, what do I do? Her friendship is one of the things I am the most grateful for. She makes me happy and being around her is just constant joy. I couldn’t possibly lose that or do anything that would make her not want to be friends anymore. But when I’m feeling like this and the stars above us shine brightly and everything feels so right.. why would I throw all of it away?

”Can I-”  
  
”We should-” 

We both stop as we realize we started talking at the same time, and then we just laugh. Her incredibly kind eyes meet mine and honestly, the way my heart starts beating louder you could think I’m going to pass out. She’s by far the most beautiful person I have ever had the luck of knowing, and not only is she attractive to the eye, her mind is so incredibly complex and fascinating to admire. Her conversations are never boring.

I flicker my eyes between her and feel my hands clenching slightly by my sides. As my mind gets closer and closer to finally making my mouth say what I’ve been thinking nonstop about since she stopped me from getting into the elevator, I feel my knees going weaker. Am I really going to do this? The risk of rejection is scary, but the hope that she might feel at least something close to what I feel is much more exciting.

”Can I ask you a question?” I ask her nervously.

”Yeah, sure,” she replies, looking confused.

As I take a deep breath, I take a small step closer to her. It’s nearly noticeable, but it’s still a movement that somehow gives me more courage. And once I’ve taken this step, no matter how close, I decide that there’s no going back. It would be foolish of me and also quite weird if I just changed my mind.

Her eyes look at me in anticipation and the radiation from her almost makes me kiss her right here, right now. Because I’ve been dreaming of doing it for several months and now that the chance is so close, and she’s looking the way she’s looking tonight and the stars illuminate us from thousands of miles away… It would be stupid to throw it away.

”Can I kiss you?” as soon as the words leave my lips it feels like my heart stops beating entirely.

The breath gets knocked right out of my lungs and I freeze completely. And for a second it seems like she doesn’t react at all, and I worry that she might laugh and tell me not to be stupid. But the expression on her face softens after just a few seconds, though it feels like an eternity, and the blood finally rushes back to my muscles. I take another tiny step closer to her, but then she does something that catches me completely off guard.

She takes a few quick steps towards me and places both of her hands on my face. And what comes next is a feeling I’ve never experienced before, and nothing quite like what I expected anything in real life would ever feel like. Her lips are soft and taste of strawberry and they are so nice, so smooth and _so_ …right on mine.

The adrenaline that pumps through my veins is better than anything else I’ve ever experienced. Using my webs to fly through the city is nothing like what kissing Carmen is. No mission has ever made me feel so alive and so euphoric. The feeling of her lips against mine is extreme and I want more. I want her closer and closer and I donate ever want this feeling to end.

My hands clumsily find their way to her hips, and touching her like this as I’ve dreamt of for so long, makes me undeniably happy and I can’t help but smile into the kiss. And the feeling of her doing so as well could easily make my heart burst right out of my chest.

And then it ends. Just like that, way too soon for my liking. But what comes next is almost nearly as good. Carmen only leans away only by an inch, and then we stay like that relishing in what just happened together. Her smile is soft and makes my heart make summersaults inside my chest and the way her breath dances across my cheeks brings me so much comfort. And this sort of comfort is something I didn’t think was possible to find in another human being.

”Wow, uh-” I mumble, searching for the right words to say.  
  
She takes a small step away from me and I take this time to just admire her. My hand reaches up to my bottom lip as I just think about how I want to do it again. And again, and again, and again…  
  
”What?” She smiles, eyes glistening.

”I, uh, wanted to do that first,” I admit with a small laughter and, being as high on adrenaline and relief as I am, I walk straight back up to her and cup _my_ hands around _her_ cheeks.


End file.
